So the dating apps are pushing a new trend called “StICKing.”
The idea is you “stick” past the superficial “icks” (think: man buns, cringe laughs, ugly shoes) to find someone with deeper traits like wit or kindness.
It’s being hailed as a total game-changer. But let’s get real—this isn’t the deep wisdom they think it is.
Carefully navigating past bad hairdos only to end up with a “decent personality” just isn’t enough for marriage.
True wisdom is in God’s Word. One who does not share your faith in Christ is a misfit. Light and darkness don’t mix (2 Corinthians 6:14).
So yeah, you can absolutely look past the man-bun, but don’t settle for a man with just wit, kindness, or personality. Look for the man who follows Christ.
In today’s email:
I don’t want to submit — should I stay single? 🤔
Evaluating a Christian man: 5 red flags & questions to ask
Meet this week’s bachelors & bachelorettes! 🎉
I Don’t Want to Submit — Should I Stay Single?
A viral Reddit post sparks a deep look into Ephesians 5, biblical submission, and what it really means to love like Christ.
On November 12, 2024, a 30-year-old female surgeon dropped a bombshell on r/Christianity titled: “I don’t want to submit to a future husband. Should I stay single?”
And honestly, it wasn’t just the title that grabbed my attention — it was the flood of responses. Eight hundred fifty-five in total! Some were absurd, some balanced, some sarcastic — and a few shared gut-wrenching stories of abuse.
Before we unpack the perspectives and figure out what this surgeon should do, here’s the unedited scoop:
I’m a 30-year-old woman and a surgeon. I’m a natural-born leader and enjoy being the boss both at work and at home.
I lead teams of doctors and nurses in high-stress situations, and my colleagues say they hate it when I’m not there because my guidance is invaluable. It’s not something I could give up.
Before I became a Christian, I dated shy, submissive men who wanted me to lead — and it worked.
I converted after witnessing things in the hospital that convinced me God is real. I’ve read the Bible and understand that wives are supposed to submit to their husbands. I don’t want to submit.
I can’t imagine dating a man who isn’t like the ones I’ve described, but I also don’t want to go against God. I’m thinking about staying single forever so I don’t become ungodly or wicked. What should I do?
Sounds like a simple question, right? Not exactly. The thread exploded — from rigid patriarchy on one end to complete rejection of biblical roles on the other.
Let’s meet the key players.
The Absurd Extremes
At one end were the Patriarchal Absolutists — those who insisted wives must submit in everything, even comparing it to slaves obeying masters. They conveniently skipped mutual submission in verse 21 and ignored the husband’s call to sacrifice. In their view, marriage is a one-way street: the wife submits, the husband leads. Period.
No room for our surgeon’s leadership gifts — she’d have to bury them to fit God’s plan.
On the other end, a few dismissed submission entirely, seeing it as inherently abusive. They suggested she stay single. For them, submission equals oppression — especially after hearing horror stories, like one woman whose ex used Ephesians to justify screaming, throwing things, even holding a knife to her throat. A 45-year-old divorcee chimed in: “I’m single by choice after a ‘submissive’ tyrant. Peace? Priceless. If God wired you to lead — don’t mute it.”
Evaluating a Christian Man: 5 Red Flags & Questions to Ask
Who’s in the Singles Spotlight this week?
SHANKY (GRACE) SANDHU
Transformed. Adventurous. Devoted.
37F | 168 cm | Auckland, NZ | Bachelor’s | Punjabi, English | Born Again
Shanky’s life is truly a tale worth telling — from a Jatt Sikh to a devoted follower of Christ. Having moved from Ludhiana to Auckland, she experienced a radical encounter with Christ, which she calls “the best thing that ever happened to her!”
Now working for the government and pursuing her dream of being a counsellor, Shanky brings compassion and dedication to everything she does. Beyond her work, she loves exploring other cultures, gardening, dancing, and spending time outdoors. She’s a caring listener, eager to serve others, dive into God’s Word, and help build up the church.
Shanky now seeks a true man of God - someone who leads like Christ, cherishes family, and delights in children.
DAHN
Musical. Ambitious. Grounded in Faith.
29M | 175 cm | Halifax, CAN | Bachelor’s | Pentecostal Christian | English, Tamil
A Canadian citizen with warm Tamilian heritage, Dahn radiates a calm and kind-hearted demeanor. He comes from a legacy of faith - with his father a software professional-turned-lead pastor, and mother heading women’s & youth ministry.
Dahn has earned his B. Sc in Computer Science from Dalhousie University, Halifax, and thrives in his IT career. He’e also a multitalented musician (and integral member of his church’s worship team), mastering piano, guitar, and drums, while broadening his horizons through his love for travel.
He now stands at his next chapter, and hopes to connect with someone compatible who cherishes faith, family - and a good tune!
More singles you shouldn’t miss:
Sania
Sociable, with a Kingdom-First outlook
31F | 150 cm | Dubai, UAE | Pentecostal | Masters’s | English, Malayalam, Hindi | Compliance Officer
Ideal Match: One who is spiritually grounded, values Scripture, has a stable career, and treats women with respect.
Dr. Akanksha
Sydney-Based with roots in North India.
40F | 168 cm | Sydney, AUS | Protestant | MBBS | English, Hindi | General Practitioner
Ideal Match: She prefers an Australian-based gentleman, between 40-50, with faith in Christ.
Dhiksha
Lawyer with a passion for people
27F | 152 cm | Hyderabad, IND | Catholic | LLB | Tamil, English | Legal Advocate
Ideal Match: A man who is emotionally mature, has a strong relationship with God, and is respectful and kind. A sense of adventure & optimism is a huge plus!
Daniel
Authentic. Caring. Outdoor-Enthusiast.
38M | 171 cm | Hyderabad, IND | Protestant | MBA | English, Tamil, Telugu | Manager - HR
Ideal Match: A Christian woman who shares similar values and emphasizes mutual respect, support and growth.
Natasha
Cool & collected, with a passion for fitness.
37F | 157 cm | Dubai, UAE | Roman Catholic | Bachelor’s in Comms. Design | English, Konkani | Ops. Head
Ideal Match: Seeking a simple, kind, intelligent gentleman who can connect with her - bonus if he could be her gym buddy!
Jesveena
Loyal. Ambitious. God-fearing.
31F | 163 cm | Bangalore, IND | Goan Catholic | MBA | English, Hindi, Konkani | Real Estate Consultant
Ideal Match: She seeks a God-honoring man with an entrepreneurial spirit, preferably involved in business and settled outside India.
Bankole
Mature & Responsible
46M | 179 cm | Edmonton, CAN | Protestant | PG Degree in Logistics/Supply Chain | English, Yoruba | Video Production
Ideal Match: He seeks a woman with fervent faith in the Lord, who is open to Canada.
Brendon
Open-minded. Athletic. Business-savvy
32M | 172 cm | Dubai, UAE | Roman Catholic | BBM | English, Konkani | Revenue Agent
Ideal Match: He is in search of a loyal and understanding partner, who shares his faith and is younger than him.
Siddhartha
Christ-Follower & Cinematographer.
42M | 170 cm | Mumbai, IND | Protestant | IITian, MS in Cinematography | English,Telugu | Director
Ideal Match: A genuine Christian, who communicates well, values family, and embraces life’s adventures.
All done for this week! Thanks for reading and being part of The Equally Yoked community. We’ll see you next Friday with more advice, real stories, a spotlight on amazing singles, and a dash of humor. Until then, a little nugget to remember: “And in all things God works for the good of those who love Him…”
Talk soon,
The Equally Yoked Team
PS: Love this newsletter? Then, do your single Christian friends a favor.
👉 Simply forward this email or share this link: https://www.theequallyyoked.com
They’ll thank you later! :)
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