In today’s email:
Justin Bieber sparks controversy - for saying what the Bible says!
Looks don’t matter… or do they? 🤔
Meet this week’s bachelors & bachelorettes! 🎉
Lust isn’t love.
And who’d have thought Justin Bieber would be the one to remind the world of that!
The Grammy-winning artist went viral this week for saying: “If you ever think about a woman with lust, it’s already cheating.”
That statement goes against the grain - it cuts straight against what’s popular today.
Open any relationship podcast, and you’ll hear ‘experts’ — Susan Winter, the Gottman Institute, you name it — preaching the gospel of sexual compatibility. They insist it’s non-negotiable and must be tested before you tie the knot.
Sounds logical, right?
“If you wouldn’t buy an expensive car without a test drive…”
So why would you marry someone without knowing if you’re sexually compatible?
Here’s what they miss: you never buy the car you test-drive.
The one you actually take home is brand new — straight from the showroom.
Biblical wisdom might sound old-school, but it’s gold.
Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 6:19–20, and the verse Bieber referenced — Matthew 5:28 — all emphasize the same truth:
Marriage is a one-flesh union, not a 30-day return policy.
And guess what? Research backs God’s Word. Studies consistently show that couples who wait have a higher chance of getting married — and staying married.
And let’s be clear: the Bible isn’t against vetting a potential spouse.
In fact, it tells us not to be unequally yoked.
You do the checking with words, not with intimacy.
Looks don’t matter… Or do they?
The ‘ugly’ truth (pun intended)
It’s always funny to see the ‘looks don’t matter’ crowd flood the comments on attractive people’s introductions, while ignoring those from less-attractive people. Actions speak louder than words. Please leave hypocrisy behind.
This post in the Christian dating community sparked a firestorm because it called out what many singles know is true: looks do matter. And yet, saying it aloud feels... wrong, un-Christian, and somewhat shallow.
There’s a painful gap between what we say and what we do. Scroll through any Christian dating forum or social media, and the truth jumps out at you. Attractive people get flooded with likes and comments. Average-looking people? Mostly crickets, or maybe a few polite welcomes.
Research confirms it. A survey by Scott Galloway at NYU Stern found that it’s only the top 8% of men who receive 90% of female attention. Among Christians, it’s not very different.
Many Christians publicly claim, “I’m only seeking a genuine Christian,” but their behavior tells a different story.
Attraction matters
Christian singles often feel pressured to downplay physical attraction. This creates the fantasy: “I could fall for someone unattractive… if their personality was amazing.” It’s cute in Disney movies, but rarely happens in real life.
One commenter summed it up perfectly:
“Looks are like your résumé. If your résumé doesn’t pass the filter, you can’t even get an interview to show your personality.”
God created beauty, and we’re wired to notice it. Rachel & Esther were beautiful in form and appearance. Joseph was well built and handsome. Absalom had magnificent hair. So, it’s not a sin to say, “Looks matter,” or “Mutual attraction is necessary.”
Faith matters more
Looks matter - but they are secondary. Faith is non-negotiable. Paul warned about being unequally yoked with unbelievers—light and darkness cannot be united (2 Corinthians 6:14).
Here are a couple examples of singles who got their priorities in order:
“If you aren’t a God-fearing man… I’m not going to even look twice.” —Reddit
“Looks matter, but that doesn’t mean I will pick the most attractive person… If it’s a choice between a 9/10 with a Sunday-only-Christian personality and a 6/10 who gives their all for Christ, I’m choosing the 6/10.” —Reddit
That’s wisdom: Attraction matters BUT faith counts for more.
Wait - what about those who are just... not attractive?
Yes, statistics are real: the less conventionally attractive you are, the smaller your dating pool. That’s not a moral failing though, it’s just math.
But here’s the good news: effort makes a HUGE difference. Healthy eating, working out, dressing well, grooming - all of these can significantly improve how you present yourself.
Someone who looks like they care about themselves catches attention. Someone who’s currently a 4 can become a 6 with proper grooming. A 5 can become an 8 by finally committing to a healthy diet. You can absolutely maximize what God gave you!
It’s a three-legged stool
There are three props when it comes to the ideal match: Faith + Character + Attraction.
“You need all three legs: Don’t ignore any of them. If you find someone who has the first two but lacks the third—don’t suddenly downplay the third and settle. . And if someone is stunningly attractive, don’t compromise on the other two.
Attraction opens the door. Character determines whether you stay. Faith secures the foundation.
Some gorgeous people stay single because their character is trash - gold-plated on the outside, but plastic underneath.
Some average-looking people thrive in amazing marriages because their character is real gold.
But the most important of all is faith in Christ. Don’t let an unbeliever derail your spiritual walk. If King Solomon could be led astray, we can too.
What You Can Do
Be rooted in Christ. Cultivate character (a.k.a., the fruit of the Spirit). And present your most put-together self - by exercising, dressing well, practicing self-grooming, and carrying yourself with confidence. This combination will make you incredibly attractive, even if you’re not conventionally beautiful.
And finally, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things (including your future spouse) will be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33).
Who’s in the Singles Spotlight this week?
BRICE
Passionate about Purpose.
37M | 173 cm | Nigeria / Europe | Bachelor’s | Pentecostal | French, English | Software Engineer
Meet Brice — a software engineer who splits his time between Nigeria and Europe, coding for tech giants while building his own tech business.
He mentors youth and dives deep into scripture, blending analytical brilliance with a resilient, grounded faith. Whether he’s shooting hoops, practicing martial arts, or traveling, he strives to be his best - for God and for others.
He's seeking a humble, godly woman who loves the Word, shares his heart for youth ministry, and is open to intercultural life.
SANYA
Christ-Centered. Sociable. Family-First.
31F | 150 cm | Dubai, UAE | Master’s | Baptist | Malayalam, English | Risk & Compliance Officer
Sanya is a breath of fresh air in Dubai. Raised in a faith-filled home, she blends grace with strength - carrying a calm confidence, a ready smile, and optimism firmly anchored in Christ.
What sets Sanya apart is her Kingdom-first outlook— whether she’s advancing in her career in the insurance industry, in a Bible Study or sharing laughs over a game of basketball with friends, Christ is her compass.
Now, she’s ready for the next step in her God-led adventure: seeking a man who mirrors her commitment to Christ, leads with love… and isn’t afraid to share her joy for life!
More singles you shouldn’t miss:
Nikita
Compassionate. Kind. Introverted
31F | 150 cm | Chennai, IND | Protestant | Master’s | English, French, Tamil | Missionary Teacher
Ideal Match: A born-again believer with a heart for the Lord & for people, who takes his role as a man seriously, yet isn’t afraid to be a tad goofy. Preferably unvaxxed. Nikita is open to relocating.
Roshan
Athletic & Straight-Forward
33M | 170 cm | Christchurch, NZ | BE, Mech. Engineering | Catholic | English, Tamil | Asst. Planner
Ideal Match: A well-qualified, God-fearing woman who’s friendly, active and intentional about marriage.
William
Optimistic, Cheerful, & a Go-Getter!
36M | 169 cm | Chennai, IND | Born Again | PhD, MBA | English, Tamil | HR Head
Ideal Match: He seeks a woman who - above all - can be a true friend, while sharing his faith.
Rebecca
Faithful & Adventurous
36F | 164 cm | Melbourne, AUS | Master’s | Catholic | English, Italian, French | TESOL-certified Teacher
Ideal Match: She’s seeking someone intelligent, steady, and family-oriented (bonus points if he can make her laugh with cheesy pick-up lines!)
Hannah
Self-aware & walking daily in gratitude
29F | 152 cm | Mumbai, IND | Born Again | Diploma in EECD | English, Kannada, Marathi | Teacher
Ideal Match: Someone who strives to live out his faith (not just talk it), who leads with humility, and is financially stable. Preferably under 35 and based in India or Singapore
Jebah
Architect & Educator
31M | 172 cm | Chennai, IND | Master’s (Architecture & Urban Planning) | Protestant | English, Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam
Ideal Match: A kind, India-based believer who loves the Lord, is passionate about growing her own talents & profession, and has a heart for service. Tamil knowledge is a huge plus!
Seyi
Graceful, Strong & Purposeful.
40F | 156 cm | Calgary, CAN | Bachelor’s in Physics | Pentecostal | English, Yoruba
Ideal Match: A teammate who loves Christ, is honest, goal-driven, & adventure-ready. Bonus if he echoes her love of humor, and passion for the outdoors!
Shweta
High-performing. Transformed by faith.
41F | 163 cm | New Jersey, US | Protestant (Convert) | PhD | English, Hindi | Director
Ideal Match: A Christian who is professionally stable, takes care of his health, & is open-minded. A plus if he’s Indian / appreciates Indian values.
Ann
Sporty, and a lover of the outdoors!
45F | 176 cm | CAN | Born Again | Bachelor of Science | English | Healthcare Worker
Ideal Match: A believer who possesses a mature outlook, who’s sincere about helping others and growing professionally. Prefers matches from US / CAN / EU / ANZ
All done for this week! Thanks for reading and being part of The Equally Yoked community. We’ll see you next Friday with more advice, real stories, a spotlight on amazing singles, and a dash of humor. Until then, a little nugget to remember from Henry Smith: “First, he must choose his love, and then he must love his choice.”
Talk soon,
The Equally Yoked Team
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