In today’s email:
AI is selling us LOVE. Why that should make us nervous. 👀
“Boring” is the new green flag 💚
Meet this week’s bachelors & bachelorettes! 🎉
Nearly three-quarters of American teens have tried AI companion apps like Replika or Character.AI. More than half talk to them regularly—for emotional support, for flirting, for a version of companionship that never says no.
Even full-grown adults are falling in “love” with their perfect AI chatbots or seeking—and following—their often dangerously-biased advice to navigate the real world.
The pitch is irresistible: a companion who remembers your favorite foods, affirms your every emotion, and never disagrees with you.
They never ask, “Hey, can we talk about this?”
That sounds kind of nice… until you think about it for more than five seconds.
Because real relationships don’t work like that.
Real people misunderstand you. They say the wrong thing. They need clarification. They get tired. They don’t always respond with a perfectly worded paragraph topped with a heart emoji 🩷.
And that’s not a flaw. It’s the design.
God designed relationships to shape us, not just soothe us. When conversations get messy and things go awry, those moments become opportunities for God to show us our edges—who we are, what we need, and how we can love more like Him.
Take His love - it was 100000% perfect, and it was 100000% messy (bloody, even.)
So yes, AI offers connection without the mess. Affirmation without accountability. Vulnerability without risk. Conversation without covenant.
But the most dangerous lie a machine can tell you is that you need a perfect, painless, artificial love.
Don’t be fooled.
AI was never meant to imitate God’s love.
We were.
"Boring" is the New Green Flag 💚
We’ve been scammed. The dating playbook says: look for SPARKS. Chemistry. Excitement. Butterflies (preferably the kind that text back in under two minutes).
Scripture says: look for FRUIT.
And here’s the thing — the fruit of a healthy, God-honoring connection doesn’t always feel thrilling at first. It feels quiet. Stable. Sometimes even… boring.
(Which, depending on your dating history, might actually be a miracle.)
A never-married woman in her forties told me something that made me sit up and listen:
“I learned what a green flag was at 42… My type was potential, wrapped in chaos. The poet who couldn’t pay rent. The Rambo picking fights at Chili’s. Chaos felt like passion.
Then I met a good man. A steady job. His own apartment. A quiet faith in Christ, He was kind, and he liked me. I told my friend, ‘He’s boring. No spark.’
The last chaotic man left me on the side of the road at two a.m. The boring one? I saw him last month at a barbecue, handing his fiancée a matcha. It felt like I was watching a ghost—the ghost of my own possible life.
That’s when it hit: I wasn’t dating men. I was dating adrenaline.
I was the red flag in my own story
So what does a green flag actually look like?
Not fireworks. Not the kind of intensity that keeps you up at night (for the wrong reasons). Here’s what wisdom, maturity, and long-term compatibility actually look like:
🚦1. Consistency over intensity
They do what they say they will do. No disappearing for three days “to pray about it.” No emotional roller coasters. Just steady presence.
🚦 2. Predictable kindness
They’re respectful to everyone, not just you. Yes, even the waiter who messed up their order. Especially the waiter.
🚦3. Emotional self-control
They don’t explode, spiral, or shut down at the first sign of conflict. They can actually have a conversation. Calmly. In one sitting.
🚦4. Clear, honest communication
No games. No mixed signals. No spiritualizing confusion. What they say and what they do actually match up.
🚦5. Peaceful silence
You don’t feel the need to fill every moment with talking. Silence isn’t awkward —it’s comfortable. No emergency jokes required.
🚦6. Reliability
They show up. On time. Every time. Faithfulness in small things still counts, even if it doesn’t make for a dramatic testimony.
🚦7. Healthy boundaries
They don’t rush intimacy — emotionally, spiritually, or physically. They honor God, you, and the pace that wisdom requires.
🚦8. No need to impress
They’re not love-bombing, over-flattering, or auditioning for “Best Christian Spouse of the Year.” They’re just… real.
🚦9. Stability in life
Their life isn’t constant chaos. Bills are paid. Sleep happens. There’s a plan, even if it’s still unfolding.
🚦10. Respect for your independence
They don’t try to replace God, monopolize your time, or pull you away from your people. You’re encouraged to keep your life, not abandon it.
🚦11. Attentive listening
They ask thoughtful questions. They remember details. They're not just waiting for their turn to talk.
🚦12. A low-drama past
Not perfect — but no long list of ‘crazies’ they somehow always end up dating.
These connections can feel underwhelming at first, especially if you’re used to mistaking emotional turbulence for passion. When chaos has been your normal, a smooth road feels wrong.
But here’s the kicker: these twelve green flags? They’re the fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—showing up in real life
Sometimes what feels “boring” is actually healthy. Because the goal isn’t just chemistry, but a love that lasts.
Who’s in the Singles Spotlight this week?
GRACE
Thoughtful. Disciplined.
Rooted in Christ
33F | 167 cm | Chennai, IND | Born Again | B Tech | English, Tamil | Talent Acquisition
33 year-old Grace lives everyday in awe of the Lord - blissfully content, yet eager to discover His next steps for her life.
Rooted in Chennai, she is determined to excel wherever she’s placed - seeking greater heights in her career in Talent Acquisition, and even looking at entrepreneurship in the not-too-distant future (God-willing!)
What truly sets her apart though is her absolute excitement for the Lord -- she never thought she’d love researching the Bible as much as she does now! God met her at a low point in her life - and since then, her passion for understanding His Word has grown into a steady flame.
She now seeks a man who’s kind, trustworthy, and fully enters into her joy with the Lord!
DEEPTI
Podcast Enthusiast. Digital Marketer
40F | 160 cm | Bangalore, IND | Pentecostal | MS in Digital Business (New Zealand) | English | Marketing Professional
If you're a lover of hearty conversations - & can appreciate a good Jordan Peterson podcast - communications professional Deepti is someone you should meet!
From India to New Zealand, her drive for new experiences has taken her across continents. Her biggest risk, however, was coming to Christ in her 20s - a decision that has radically altered the course of her life.
Kind, friendly, and always willing to listen before judging, Deepti radiates positivity among her close circle of family & friends. Now, she seeks someone more than a husband - someone who can join her in her adventure of learning, growing and embracing life to its God-given potential.
More singles you shouldn’t miss:
Sunil
Successful Lawyer. Fond of deep talks - and travel!.
34M | 173 cm | NY, US | Protestant | Ph.D | Marathi, English | Lawyer
Ideal Match: Seeking a born-again Christian who shares a passion for theology and spontaneous travel. Let's discuss doctrine over coffee or explore a new city. Preferably based in the US
Nishal
Easy-going and family-oriented.
30M | 178 cm | Mumbai, India | Protestant | CA | Konkani, English | Manager
Ideal Match: Someone who values her faith in Christ above all else, and cares about family.
Ajin
Passionate about family, working hard, & growing to be like Christ
39F | 165 cm | Toronto, CAN | Baptist | Master’s in Biotech & MBA | English,Malayalam, Hindi | Product Strategist in Life Sciences
Ideal Match: Looking for a man who takes his Christian walk seriously, loves his family, and is ambitious toward his work, the kingdom of God, and in building his future family.
Sudeep
London-based, with Telugu roots
38M | 175 cm | London, UK | Protestant | MSc | Telugu, English | Global Product Manager
Ideal Match: I'm a practicing Christian and would like someone with similar values.
Steve
Intellectual powerhouse, with a passion for fitness
47M | 183 cm | NSW, AUS | Protestant | MBBS | English | Doctor
Ideal Match: A genuine believer who prioritizes her walk with Christ & is in Australia/willing to relocate.
Joel
Leader. Listener. Loyal
42M | 168 cm | Boston area, MA | Master’s | Non-denominational | English | Principal
Ideal Match: He is praying for an active, Christ-hearted woman, preferably located within the US. Bonus points if she adores dogs!
Ivan
Kind-hearted & Dedicated
41M | 173 cm | Bangalore, IND | Master’s | Non-denominational | Tamil, English | Sr Associate
Ideal Match: He seeks someone who comes from a strong faith-filled background, who lives a healthy lifestyle, and is preferably located in India.
Noel
Brilliant & Driven
35M | 191 cm | Bangalore, IND | Master’s | Catholic | English | AVP
Ideal Match: A partner who can be with him through the highs & lows of life, preferably from a Catholic background.
Jay
Faith-led, and Loves Quiet Pleasures.
35M | 178 cm | Dubai, UAE| CA | Syrian Christian | Malayalam, English | Accountant
Ideal Match: A Syrian Christian woman who shares his Dubai upbringing, and preferably his age or a few years younger.
All done for this week! Thanks for reading and being part of The Equally Yoked community. We’ll see you next Friday with more advice, real stories, a spotlight on amazing singles, and a dash of humor. Until then, a little nugget to remember from C.S. Lewis: “Love either toward God or towards man - is an affair of the will”
Talk soon,
The Equally Yoked Team
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