He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord. — Proverbs 18:22
Last week a guy told me he’d rather not get married. Not later, but never ever.
He’s open to dating, open to something committed and long-term, but in his own words: “I won’t sign a marriage contract in law. Just don’t agree with the legal side.”
He’s 40, handsome, tall, works in finance, born and raised in London, and comes from a churchgoing family that’s there every Sunday.
On paper he’s exactly many women are hoping to meet, until he opens his mouth.
And btw, he’s not weird. He’s the new normal.
In 1981, 46 out of every 1,000 eligible adults got married that year. By 2023 that number had dropped to 15. A 67% collapse in one lifetime. Marriage went from being the default to being old school.
I’m not a stats nerd, but I bring it up because I happen to be on the front row seat and have a pulse on what’s going on.
The culture is at war with God’s Word. It has successfully brainwashed us into believing that biblical marriage is risky, a ball and chain. And the casual hookup lifestyle is the way to go. Modern, fun, all the benefits and none of the risks.
It’s like renting an Airbnb, instead of owning a house.
Ask a successful guy, and he’s not going to tell you he opposes biblical marriage. He’ll tell you it’s the divorce laws he’s scared of, losing half of everything he built to someone who maybe contributed none of it, then the years that follow bleeding out through courts and lawyers and alimony and child support payments.
He’s not choosing celibacy - and he has no reason to because the culture hands him the benefits of a wife, contract-free.
The dating apps are the abettors to this shift - they don’t make money marrying you off. So they gamified the experience to keep you longer on the app, and promote casual hookups to make you their forever customer.
None of this happened by accident either. It was carefully planned to take down Biblical marriage. Every algorithm, every “I don’t need a man” caption, every app - yes, even some Christian ones - are quietly teaching the gullible generation that the covenant is the trap.
The world says: marriage is a losing bet. So stay free, stay liquid, never sign anything you can’t walk away from.
The Word of God says the exact opposite - back in Genesis, before the fall, before a single divorce had ever happened, God looked at man who stood alone in a perfect garden and said: “It is not good for man to be alone.”
God’s solution wasn’t a ‘situationship’. It was a wife, two becoming one, permanently, till death do us part.
And centuries later Solomon, the wisest man in history, said this: whoever finds a wife (not ‘rents a wife’) finds a good thing.
The guy I talked about probably thinks he’s outsmarted the system. He hasn’t. He’s just the latest casualty.
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