7 Things I wish Someone Told Me Before I Got Married.

The most important earthly decision you will ever make is the person you marry.
If you marry the wrong person, your life will never be the same again.

Choose a believer — not a church-attender, not a so-called “Christian,” but a genuine believer: someone who’s saved, loves Christ, honors Christ, and is heaven-bound.

Don’t even think about marrying an unbeliever. Paul asks the most basic, common-sense question: “How can light live with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14)

Also choose someone who builds — not someone who tears down her own house (Proverbs 14:1). Choose someone who strengthens your God-given purpose — not someone who drives you to the corner of the rooftop (Proverbs 21:9).

Here’s something nobody tells you:

You don’t “fall into” love.
You choose love.

Love is a decision — a deliberate, daily choice to love your wife, no matter what.

You choose to love her selflessly, with zero expectations of reciprocation.
You choose not to keep a scoreboard of her mistakes.
You choose to serve her cheerfully — asking what you can do for her, not what she can do for you.

You choose to love your wife the way God wants you to (1 Cor 13).

A loved wife = a happy wife.
A happy wife = a happy life.

Some people talk constantly without realizing they’re talking at someone and not actually connecting.

Communicating is hard.
It’s a two-way street.
You must actively remove blockages to keep the lines open.

Pride? Remove it.
Silent treatment? Remove it.
Fear? Remove it.

The best marital advice I ever received came straight from Scripture:
“Do not let the sun go down on your anger.”

Unresolved fights are slow poison — they rot the relationship from the inside.

Communication grows when you are:

Your wife is not your opponent.
She’s not your competitor.
She is your partner.

It’s never You vs. Wife.
It’s always (You + Wife) vs. The World.

When she wins, you win.
Don’t get jealous when she levels up — gets fit, gets promoted, or thrives in her calling.

Be like Barnabas — the encourager — to your wife.

Great marriages don’t have two stars.
They have one team.

You’ve heard, “A family that prays together stays together.”

But this is even better:

Deuteronomy gives the blueprint:
Let Scripture flow abundantly in your home —
when you sit, when you rise, when you walk… everywhere.

Let the Word shape how you speak, decide, lead, forgive, raise kids, and live.

Let the husband love his wife as Christ loved the church.
Let the wife submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ.
And let both yield their necks to His yoke — pulling together to accomplish God’s purposes.

If God gives you children, raise champions —
straight arrows to launch into the enemy’s territory (Psalm 127).

That’s purpose.
That’s calling.
That’s legacy.

Marriage is not easy — but don’t fall for the lie that the grass is greener somewhere else.

Never use the “D-word.”
Not in a joke.
Not in anger.
Not ever.

Marriage makes two people become one flesh — seamlessly one.
Divorce tears that apart… like trying to unscramble an egg.

So work on your marriage.
Be intentional.
Spend quality time.
Protect your marriage from busyness.

Some days giving up will look easier — but don’t.
Fight for it (except, of course, in cases of abuse or infidelity).

Let me be blunt:
The world hates biblical marriage.

It mocks it, twists it, and undermines it.
Do not let the world (or its ideas) seep into your marriage.

Protect your marriage daily.
Set guardrails:

A God-fearing spouse is a gift.
Be that gift.

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