# 44 | November Theory

Vice recently ran a piece on what dating experts call the “November Theory.” The idea is simple. November kicks off the holiday season, which also happens to be cuffing season - & when dating singles make or break their relationships

Secular matchmaker Susan Trombetti says this month people start asking some hard questions: Do I bring him/her home? Would my family like the person I’ve chosen? Do I really want to bring in the new year with this person... or not?

Sometimes, the pressure from people around the dinner table ends up with a ring on the finger. November can take a “maybe” and turn it into a “yes.”

The November Theory does have one good point. The holidays do force you to take a sober look at your life - and Trombetti suggests using that time to decide what you want in the coming year. You may look at your relationship and decide it’s time to let go so you both can move on. November could be that time - sad, but wise.

It lines up with what our Lord told us to do: sit down and count the cost (Luke 14:28). Are we walking in the same direction? Are we equally yoked? Are we actually good for each other?

But the November Theory can go wrong in another unexpected way. It can turn into November Rain (if you grew up listening to music in the 80s or 90s, you’ll remember the song.) You’re desperately holding on while the other person has already checked out.

You know what? I’d rather be like Isaac, who isn’t playing this game. The November Theory didn’t matter to him. There was no November Rain either.

He was 40 years old, and interestingly, Bible never suggests he was desperate to find a wife, fretting about his singleness or scrambling to beat some imaginary deadline.

His father had a plan, and God had an even bigger one, because the Saviour of the world would eventually come through Isaac’s line.

But Isaac wasn’t in a hurry - if God has a plan for you, a Moses in your family line, a Samuel in your genealogy, it will happen. You don’t need to panic in November or in any other month. God will bring it to fruition - in His time.

This goes against what most matchmakers, dating coaches and even some Christian relationship guides tell us. There’s always another strategy, another profile, another opportunity to pursue. As though finding a spouse were the most important assignment of your life.

But the Word says: “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart” (Psalm 37:4). Not delight thyself in the ring. Not delight thyself in a relationship. Delight in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Yes, there is a season for everything. Cuffing season isn’t necessarily on that list.

This week’s famous couple is one you already know. But there’s more to learn from their love story. Or should we call it a cautionary tale?

Did you ever wonder why some little neighborhoods keep churning out world-class boxers? Why a poor neighborhood in Brazil produces soccer superstars, or a tiny province in China is the cradle for table tennis champions?

There’s a saying that’s made its way into the business world: “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” You’ve probably heard it, nodded in agreement, and moved on. I have too.

But there’s more truth to it than meets the eye. If your dad, your uncle and your best friend’s dad are all billionaires, chances are you’ll grow up and become rich just like them.

Because osmosis.

Today I came across a report that made me realize the same thing applies to marriage, too. You could be a wonderful Christian, have your life together, be serious about marriage, and yet remain single for 11 years.

You may have asked yourself, “What’s wrong with me?” Maybe nothing. Maybe it’s your neighborhood that’s the problem.

The new report from the Institute for Family Studies has put a name to it: marriage deserts and marriage gardens.

Researchers mapped marriage patterns across America and found striking differences. In some areas, 79% of working-age householders were married. In others, the number was as low as 13%.

Read more online

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Before you can be Equally Yoked with someone else, you've got to be rooted yourself. That's what A Verse A Day is for - one verse, every day, to keep you anchored [https://averseaday.substack.com]