# 43 | Courted

This week a new dating app called Courted made the news. It came with a clever hook: before a first date, the man has to put down a deposit (reportedly a $50 fee, or whatever amount she sets for “date preparation costs”). It sits in escrow and goes toward whatever she spends: hair, nails, makeup, or probably a new outfit.

We get the logic behind it: Women spend time and money getting ready for dates, and plenty of men these days ghost or show up with zero effort. So how do you know he’s serious before you invest in him, right?

That’s worldly wisdom: It says make him pay up front. Protect your time and effort and make him prove he’s serious with his wallet.

The Word, on the contrary, goes deeper. “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’” (Matthew 5:37).

A $50 deposit might cover some of your expenses. It might keep him from standing you up.. But it can’t tell you anything about his character - does he want a wife or just a weekend? Is he a genuine Christian - will he love you the way Christ loved the church? Those are million-dollar questions, while this app is selling a $50 answer.

A man who fears God and honors Him is trustworthy. His ‘yes’ is a ‘yes,’ and you can take it to the bank

The world wants a down payment. The Word wants you equally yoked (plug intended :))

People have strong opinions on this. A single tweet about the app got about 190,000 views and thousands of reactions. Some say the deposit proves he’s serious and respects her time. Others say it turns a date into a transaction.

I think it points to something unfortunately real: that money talks for a lot of people. And our Lord had something important to say about that in Matthew 6:24.

If I were her, I wouldn’t want any man, including the right one, thinking he can buy my time. Not for $50, $500, or even a million.

Guys, skip the app. Christ calls you to lay down your life for your wife. If you’re ready for that, you’re not proving it with a measly $50.

Army kid. IT Manager. Born & bred Bangalorean. Everyone’s cheerleader & more!

Vital Stats
35 | Bangalore
 | IT Manager
, US MNC | Bachelors in Technology | Protestant
 | English
, Malayalam, Hindi | Never Married

Why are so many Christian women still single, and what to do about it.

Earlier this month Chris Hatch posted on X saying he’s surrounded by young women who were “smart, capable, hard working and cute” and then came the line that hit a nerve: “nobody’s dating them….”

His post received 23 million views because everyone knows her. She’s their sister, daughter or friend. Many of you could be her.

She loves Christ. She’s that Proverbs 31 woman with the Midas touch. She did what the pastor said and worked on herself because the books promised it would lead to a godly man. And now she’s 29, or 34, or 41, wondering what she did wrong.

Keyboard warriors (and they’re a dime a dozen!) have an answer ready for her: she’s too picky, too focused on her career or too shallow. Her church has a softer version: just wait on God. His timing is perfect.

I want to offer a different take. The problem is real, and it’s mostly not her - and not her doing. What if dating culture is making it harder to find a husband, and the church is doing almost nothing to help (or equip) her in any practical way?

We hardly discuss numbers in Christian circles, but that’s a good place to start.

In a 2019 analysis for the Institute for Family Studies, demographer Lyman Stone looked at unmarried Christians. His analysis found that unmarried women outnumbered unmarried men across every major Christian group. For every 100 eligible, devout women, there were 85 eligible men (and the number in my estimate is even lower).

Even if all 85 of those men found a match, 15 women would still be single. Their prayer life (or lack thereof) didn’t cause that. Neither did their pride and prejudice.

It’s pure math.

The only way to close the gap is to either add more devout men to the pool or take a few single women out.

Gallup reports that 42% of men aged 18 to 29 now call religion “very important” in their lives, up from 28% just a couple of years earlier. That’s a hopeful change because church is still the best place to meet an equally-yoked spouse. But simply attending Sunday services shouldn’t be your only strategy… your congregation is still a small dating pool.

The dating world itself has changed from the 80s/90s. The Institute for Family Studies calls it a dating recession.

In its 2026 report, 74% of single women and 64% of single men aged 22 to 35 reportedly said they hadn’t dated at all, or had dated only a few times, in the past year.

A woman who hasn’t been asked out in months might assume she’s not wanted. But what if the man who should’ve asked her out, hasn’t asked anyone out in months?

We’re living in a season where people have quietly stopped asking others out and are so accustomed to living through screens that a face-to-face conversation feels strangely intimidating.

Dating apps are no help either - they offer the illusion of endless options. We keep swiping, hoping to find someone more attractive, more successful, more exciting. We enjoy the process of discovering our “dream” match: looking at pictures, reading profiles, researching, initiating contact - and waiting.

We’re on the hamster wheel - running and running, and going nowhere.

Many of us grew up hearing the same phrases. “Just wait on the Lord.” “When you stop looking, it’ll happen.” “A godly man will find you.”

Continue reading on Substack...

Memes found in the wild this week that made us chuckle. 50% theology, 100% relatable