38 | Rent-a-wife

Last week a guy told me he’d rather not get married. Not later, but never ever.

He’s open to dating, open to something committed and long-term, but in his own words: “I won’t sign a marriage contract in law. I just don’t agree with the legal side.”

He’s 40, handsome, tall, works in finance, born and raised in London, and comes from a churchgoing family that’s there every Sunday.

On paper, he’s exactly who the women we match him with are hoping to meet…..until he opens his mouth.

And funny thing is, he’s not weird. He’s the new normal.

Marriage has gone from being the default to being old school. In 1981, 46 out of every 1,000 eligible adults got married that year. By 2023 that number had dropped to 15. A 67% collapse in one lifetime.

I’m not a stats nerd, but I bring it up because I have a front row seat to what’s going on in the relationship realm.

Unsurprisingly, this boils down to culture being at war with God’s Word. It’s successfully brainwashed us into believing that biblical marriage is risky, (how often have you heard grumpy coworkers call their wives their ‘ball and chain’?). So apparently, the casual, hookup lifestyle is the way to go. Modern, fun, all the benefits and none of the risks (or so they say).

It’s like renting an Airbnb, instead of owning a house.

Ask a successful guy - he’s not going to tell you he opposes biblical marriage. He’ll tell you it’s the divorce laws he’s scared of, losing half of everything he built to someone who maybe contributed none of it, then the years that follow bleeding out through courts and lawyers, alimony and child support payments.

And he’s not choosing celibacy either - and he has no reason to because the culture hands him benefits of a wife, without the contract.

The dating apps are the unseen abettors to this shift - why? Because they don’t make money marrying you off. They’ve gamified the experience to keep you longer on the app. and promote casual hookups to make you their forever customer.

None of this happened by accident either. Every algorithm, every “I don’t need a man” caption, every app - yes, even some Christian ones - are quietly teaching the gullible generation that it’s the covenant that is the trap.

The world says: marriage is a losing bet. So stay free, stay liquid, never sign anything you can’t walk away from.

The Word of God says the exact opposite - back in Genesis, before the fall, before a single divorce had ever happened, God looked at man who stood alone in a perfect garden and said: “It is not good for man to be alone.”

God’s solution wasn’t a situationship. It was a wife, two becoming one, permanently, till death do us part.

And centuries later Solomon, the wisest man in history, said this: He who finds a wife (not ‘rents a wife’) finds a good thin and d obtains favor from the Lord. - Proverbs 18:22

The guy I talked probably thinks he’s outsmarted the system, but he hasn’t. He’s just the latest casualty.

Helloooo! I'm Layton. I'm 40, currently living in San Diego, but I've got plans to move to Florida in the near future.

I wake up every day thanking Jesus Christ. I don't think real joy in life can be cultivated without gratitude, so that's a huge part of who I am.

I've been working hard and supporting myself in creative ways since I was 18. Over the years I've worked in hospitality, restaurants, sales, and even aerospace engineering. In 2026, I started my own tax preparation company, which has done very well. Right now I'm pivoting into land acquisition and wholesaling.

That I'm deeply dedicated. I cherish relationships, and I'm looking forward to building a Christ-centered marriage and, Lord willing, raising children with a special woman.

Definitely outdoors. I love living an active, organic, beach-loving, vitamin D-driven lifestyle. That's where I feel most alive.

I'm skeptical of modern Big Pharma, and I'd love to meet a woman who shares my views on modern vaccines, including the COVID vaccine.

I'm looking for a woman between 28 and 36 who is kind, patient, grateful, active, and family-oriented. Creating a safe, peaceful, and warm home isn't just important to me—it's non-negotiable.

My goal is to provide well enough that my wife won't have to work unless she wants to. I'd love for her to have the freedom to invest her time in our children, our home, and the unique role God has given her.

Think Layton could be your person? Know someone he'd love to meet? Or would you like to be featured next? Click the orange button below.

Men, you’ve probably seen the clip floating around TikTok and X: “Don’t let your girlfriend stop you from finding your wife.”

It’s blunt, a little meme-y, and gets a lot of reposts. But… there’s a less popular version of the same advice that rarely goes viral: “Don’t let your current version of yourself stop you from becoming the kind of man a wife actually wants to build a life with.”

It’s something we all know instinctively - think of how you’ve often been told to ‘dress for the job you want, not the one you have.’

This idea of “do more… to expect more” is the golden key to literally every aspect of life - even marriage. If you want to be a solid husband one day, start practicing the habits of one now. Marriage does not create maturity out of thin air. It merely reveals what you’ve already been building.

We need to drop the modern idea that a husband is just a boyfriend with better paperwork.

Scripture describes him as a man called to strength, independence, and responsibility- one who leaves his father and mother, joins himself to his wife, and takes up the mantle of care for a new household (Genesis 2:24). He is also called to love her “as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).

Earlier generations treated this as common sense. A man was expected to show he could provide before he dared asked for a woman’s hand. A man who could not provide would be laughed at, scorned, or even killed for the insult.

Women who are seriously looking for a husband tend to notice the same things. They’re no longer impressed by charm in the moment, and more tuned in to patterns: does he keep his word, run his own life reasonably well, treat people decently when there’s nothing in it for him, carry his duties without demanding applause or pity?

In other words: Is this a man I can actually depend on if my life were at stake?

Those qualities cannot be summoned on demand. They grow from habits practiced when no one is keeping score. They are what separate the man-child from husband material.

You cannot fake strong character for long. Married life will test your temper, your appetites, and your consistency. If you’ve never practiced restraint and self-control - trust me, it will show.

Proverbs is blunt: “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls” (Proverbs 25:28).

Jim Elliot understood this early. As a college wrestler, he intentionally trained his body - not for applause or trophies, but because he knew the mission field demanded physical strength and endurance, as much as spiritual conviction.

Joseph, in the Book of Genesis, is another proof of the value of a stainless-steel character that helped ‘a slave’ stand firm and rose to heights he would not have if he’d given in to discontent and compromise.

Character shapes the future you end up with - and plays a huge role in the woman you attract - and win.

You don’t need a fiancée to get started. Here are concrete ways to check whether you’re becoming husband material:

Christ didn’t wait for the church to get its act together before He loved her; He gave Himself first. Husbands are called to the same kind of initiative.

Proverbs has no patience for the guy who sits on his hands and waits for ideal conditions (Proverbs 6:6–11). Waiting for a wife before you practice the work of a husband is just like that. It’s the diligent man who gets the field ready before the rain shows up - and he reaps the reward.

At the same time, there is no guarantee that having a great character will get you a wife on a particular timeline - who knows what life holds for you? But what it does mean is that if and when the time comes, you won’t be starting from zero. You’ll already be the kind of man a discerning woman can safely build a life with.

Dress for the job you want. Live for the covenant you hope to keep. Start today.

The best (and occasionally the worst) takes on love, dating, and relationships from around social media this week