36 | Singleness

We've all seen the posts. Soft lighting, pretty font, something like:

“Your single season can become one of the most transformative times of your life if you embrace it instead of resisting it. This is often the season where God develops your character, heals past wounds, strengthens your faith,...

And the comments: Amen 🙌. God is preparing me 💕. Everyone feels deeply spiritual... for being single.

Can we stop for a minute and actually ask - where is this in the Bible?

Yes, it’s comforting. And it sounds biblical.

But when you open the scriptures and go looking for the chapter, the verse, or anything that says God needs you to be single so He can develop your character, heal your past wounds, or reveal your hidden gifts —

You won’t find it.

That's not Scripture. That a TED Talk by Mel Robbins :)

1 Corinthians 7. That’s the chapter on singleness.

Apostle Paul personally prefers being single… given the “present distress” and the fact that the world in its current form is passing away. An unmarried person can give undivided attention to the Lord without the distraction of pleasing a spouse.

That’s it. That’s the advantage he lists.

Not you’ll discover your purpose. Not God will heal your trauma. Not this season is preparing you for marriage.

Just undivided devotion to the Lord. Everything else? We made it up.

Let’s follow the logic.

If singleness is the season where God develops your character and heals your wounds - would He log-off the moment you say “I do”?

Can He not do this work while you’re dating? While you’re engaged? While you’re raising toddlers?

Because we’ve seen God working on married people just as much as the unmarried. And we’ve seen singles stuck in their “sacred season” for a decade- sour, stagnant, going nowhere.

FACT CHECK: The season doesn't do the work. God does. And He is not limited by our relationship status.

Here's what this generally accepted narrative actually does.

When Isaac needed a wife, Abraham didn’t tell his son to pray and journal about his single season. He sent his most trusted servant on a fully funded mission all the way to Mesopotamia to find the woman.

That’s effort. That’s someone treating the problem like it’s worth solving.

If you haven't found your person… what are you actually doing?

Abraham didn't sit back expecting God to drop Rebekah on his front porch.

And it’s not just Abraham.

Six months of oil of myrrh. Six months of perfumes and cosmetics. A full year of intentional, disciplined preparation - to look her absolute best before she stood before the king.

Yes, God looks at the heart. Yes, inner character matters. Yes, you’re fearfully and wonderfully made… But the people you want to attract? They have eyes. They're human. Physical attractiveness matters to them.

Faith does not cancel out first impressions. Character doesn't override hygiene. "Love for Jesus" does not make the unkempt angelic.

Some of us are out of shape, dress like we stopped caring, and wonder why we're not stopping the scroll.

Esther prepared. We should too.

Most single people are single for one of two reasons.

There are real exceptions. Health issues. Circumstances genuinely outside our control. Those are real and they matter. But most of us.. we've settled into passivity and try to put the ball in God's court.

So ask yourself this tonight: if you met someone exactly like you - same level of effort, same grooming habits, same passivity - would you want to date them?

If the answer is no, then stop blaming God. The problem is in the mirror.

You don’t need to romanticize your singleness.
You don’t need to pretend every lonely holiday is character development.
You don’t need to believe God is withholding marriage until you learn some hidden lesson.

We’re all a work in progress. Single, married, or somewhere in between.

But if you are involuntarily single - do something about it.

Be an Esther or an Abraham. Or both.

Dua Lipa & Callum Turner are everywhere right now. So are Zendaya and Tom Holland. Stylish. Young. Magnetic. The darling couples that the media and the internet cannot stop raving about.

But the real influencers…the kind that actually shape you - are rarely the ones with the most followers. They remain relatively unknown.

One such couple - I've had the privilege of knowing up close - are Dr. Prakash and Elsie. The modern day Priscilla and Aquila. Just two people so committed to Christ and each other that their influence quietly and permanently changed everyone in their orbit.

This army of two was the kind that "put ten thousand to flight."

Dr. Prakash went to be with the Lord yesterday. And the best way I know how to honor him is to tell you about the marriage he built alongside Elsie - because our generation could greatly benefit from seeing healthy marriage model.

Here are 5 takeaways from their relationship that made them stand out as more than just "a happy couple."

They weren't just husband and wife. They were a team with a mission. They discipled believers, counseled couples, opened their home, gave generously - and they did it together. Not two people running parallel ministries. One team. One direction.

A relationship survives when the mission is bigger than the marriage itself. Couples who worship each other eventually collapse under the weight of expectation. Couples who worship God find themselves pulling in the same direction.

Priscilla and Aquila had their tent-making. Prakash and Elsie had theirs.

They were higher-ed educators by profession. But they were known more for their work for the Lord - modeling parenting, counseling countless young adults, preaching, serving in roles that shaped future leaders - and doing it without drawing attention to themselves.

The phrase that defined them: knives sharpening each other. But it wasn't just each other they sharpened. No one who came in contact with this couple walked away blunt.

We watch couples become so focused on building their life together that they stop being useful to anyone outside it. The strongest marriages don't become insulated. They become multipliers. They make everyone around them stronger.

Both came from well-known, respected families. Both were high IQ, accomplished, passionate in their fields. And somehow - neither of them had anything to prove. They were the most down-to-earth couple you'd ever meet.

Their pride didn't come from their credentials or earthly accomplishments. It came from their identity in Christ. It’s what made everyone feel welcome mourned them. It gave them contentment and peace even when life handed them lemons.

Here’s a detail from Scripture that makes my case. In four of the six times Priscilla and Aquila are mentioned in the Bible, Priscilla's name appears first. The man didn't have a problem with that. Prakash was the same - he played Aquila quite often, and without apology. No one-upmanship. No ego to protect. They were a team.

A secure relationship is one where you delebrate each other’s strengths and wins without feeling threatened.

Compatibility is one of the most overused and least understood words in Christian dating. We've reduced it to: same music taste, same love language, same aesthetic. And then we wonder why they fall apart when real life hits.

One of Elsie’s favorite analogies for a Christian relationship is the Triangle. God at the top. Husband and wife at the two bottom corners. The closer each person moves toward God, the closer they move toward each other.

They lived out this diagram in their own marriage to the T.

Shared direction beat shared interests every time. A couple committed to moving closer to Christ will survive storms that sink couples who are merely compatible.

Most wedding vows end with til death do us part. Prakash and Elsie never seemed to operate like that was the finish line.

For them, marriage was never simply about making it to old age together. They were building something that would outlive them - storing up treasures in heaven where moth and rust can't touch and thieves can't get to.

And because their eyes were fixed on eternity, they glided through the hardest seasons with a peace that genuinely didn't make sense from the outside. That's not a good mental health habit. That's a worldview - to know we are sojourners and pilgrims and our citizenship is in heaven. And it changes everything about how you do life and how you do marriage.

Priscilla and Aquila's marriage isn't hopelessly romantic. Very little is known about them. No miracles on record. No viral moment.

But they housed Apostle Paul - one of Christianity's greatest missionaries. They discipled Apollos, the firebrand preacher. They strengthened churches across the ancient world. And they did it together - quietly, faithfully, without seeking centerstage.

Prakash and Elsie’s story is the same. Only eternity will reveal the Apollos and the Pauls they unleashed into the world.

The end? Not even close.